did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
