My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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