bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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