omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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