I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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