Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
