he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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