Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
