Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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