the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
