just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
