I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
