Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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