On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
