I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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