i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
