So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
NoShamevember. You game?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
