just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
then he tried to convert me to islam
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
