you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
