last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
