i think my mom watched the whole time
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
