dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
