so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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