8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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