final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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