did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
