forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
