I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
