first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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