I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dick very happy bro
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
