It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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