He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
