we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
