Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
