i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
