She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
