I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
