I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
