you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
