Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I smell stomach acid.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
