the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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