If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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