I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
