Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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