Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
