We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
