Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My vagina just recognized that song.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
