She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
