I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Michael Bay diarrhea
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
