I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
