You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
