Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
