I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
