maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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