Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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