how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
